Friendship

Mar

2024

My e-Friend

I have a new friend, but we haven’t met.

Her name is Grace, and she lives on the other side of the world!

The east coast of Scotland and the west coast of the USA are diametrically opposed so if either of us were to move left or right we’d get closer to each other. When we’re online it’s always ‘today’ for me but Grace lingers in the past. She’s young, whereas I was already in my forties when she was born. Nevertheless we have important life commonalities: faith, writing, and music. Our lynchpin is the ever-modest publishing consultant Jim Holmes (insert) who was instrumental in getting both our books into print, and who coincidentally lives exactly midway between us in South Carolina.

Grace is a violinist whose professional life came to a sudden halt seven years ago when, on her way to perform in a concert, she was struck by a car on a pedestrian crossing. This resulted in a catastrophic brain injury from which she is continuing to make a slow recovery. Her published memoir (see featured image) describes her courage to move forward with life despite limitations, and an unwavering faith in God’s goodness which has shown her new paths to follow.

Culture, friendship, faith, music… we both love writing, and it would be good to write together about these things.

Watch this space!

Sep

2022

Great expectations

“Well, isn’t this all very interesting!” said Jim Holmes, a freelance editor and publisher (www.greatwriting.org) in the USA, in response to my online query. “Have your story published – yes, why not? You definitely have the germ of a book there.” That was the beginning of the beginning.

Jim was emailing from Greenville, a town in South Carolina I had never heard of. He is a committed Christian who had spent some years in the UK and in Iraq. Given that I had come to the UK from Iran and that I am also a believer, clinched it for me. I had a light bulb moment which finally banished years of procrastination in writing anything about myself. How fortunate was I to have found the sympathetic ear of real-life publisher whose establishment was grandly called Great Writing!

As my writing and Jim’s editorial reviews progressed, I began to dream of visiting this fancy publishing house. In my mind’s eye I saw it as an imposing stone building, several storeys high, situated on the main thoroughfare, its façade graced by tall windows, its entrance glass-plated with a revolving door. Prospective authors carrying weighty manuscripts could be glimpsed coming and going and being greeted by a smart receptionist on the front desk. As the big chief, Mr Holmes’s office was the largest and airiest office on the top floor. I imagined him to be a tall gentleman with a noble brow and neatly parted silver hair.

Every writer needs an audience, and for me, a grandmother who had never written anything of note, my audience was Jim. Although all communication was online, Jim proved to be a good listener. That he also ended up becoming a hand-holder, sounding-board, editor, critic and computer pro, was something that neither of had initially envisaged. But we also recognised in each other a mutual love for Christ, a keen desire to serve the Father, and abiding interest in the written word. These things forged between us an alliance like no other.

Fast forward a couple of years: After my book was published, I finally made a trip over to Greenville to meet Jim. To my surprised amusement (and possibly his too!) Jim was neither tall nor silver-haired, though he is indeed a gentleman, and he does possess a noble brow. The grand publishing house of my imagination turned out to be a modest room over his garage. It’s the place where miracles of editing and publishing happen.

Sep

2022

Coffee break

Meeting a friend for that promised coffee, or using the spare time for private prayer? Given the choice on any given day I’m all too aware which I would naturally plump for. Any opportunity to enjoy a cup of hot frothy coffee laced with companionable conversation is so deliciously appealing that the time set aside for prayer gets pushed further down the queue. And if I’m really honest, it’s usually relegated to the end of the day—at best!

A practical solution for people like me whose spirit is willing (but, oh, the weakness of the flesh!) is to meet God often, along with that all-important coffee. It matters not how or where we meet Him, what matters, as in any loving relationship, is that we meet regularly. A solo coffee break with Our Father lends itself admirably to conversational prayer, and it can take place in our own homes, in our own time, and even as a breather in the midst of chores.

I close my eyes, sit quietly, coffee cup in hand, and ask God to join me. Soon I’ll feel Him right there beside me. Of course, I know that He’s always there, but this is our special time together, and He knows how much that coffee motivates me! At times I hear Him speak straight to my heart; at others there is nothing but silence. I’ll tell Him about my day with all its messiness, without worrying about being inarticulate or too focussed on myself. I know I am infinitely dear to Him, and that He really doesn’t mind. I always have to flick away the distractions, but our loving Saviour does the rest.

We can do a lot worse than enjoy a coffee break with our Father. He’s aware of the frailty of our nature and our need for inducements, and He’s always waiting for us. With prayer, it’s the practice that counts more than the theory. As St Teresa of Avila once said, prayer consists not in thinking much, but in loving much”.

May

2022

Tehran Zoomers

This is a unique photo of erstwhile members of the congregation of St Paul’s Episcopal Church in Tehran, reunited 40 years after the 1979 Revolution in 2019 at the residential meeting of Friends of the Diocese of Iran in London. All those in the above photo were also present at my Baptism and reception into the Christian faith by Bishop Hassan Dehqani-Tafti at St Paul’s Church in Tehran on 5 May 1978.

Now, nearly half a century later one of the gifts of the Covid-19 pandemic and ensuing lockdowns has been the creation of a monthly ZOOM meeting which reunites many of us online. Former congregation members of St Paul’s Church in Tehran tune in from all over the world –from various States in the USA, from Wales, England, Scotland, India, the Emirates, Australia, New Zealand. It’s truly international. Some like me, who joined the church only a year before the Revolution, are relative ‘newbies’, but others can date their link to St Paul’s as far back as the 1960s. One of the real gifts of the Covid-19 pandemic and ensuing lockdowns has been to enable those among us who were ‘technology dinosaurs’ to finally master the art of ZOOM.

We meet just once a month for just one hour, at 6pm GMT – and if that sounds simple, just think of having to factor in all the different time zones, in the different global hemispheres! Because we are able to see into each other’s homes on screen, some will be preparing breakfast, others joining at dinner time, and for others it will be long past their bedtime! Over the past months, we have become a close-knit group and look forward to regular these meetings, in which we exchange family news, pray for one another, discuss challenges facing Iran, and generally support one another through life events. In fact, we are getting to know each other much better than we could ever have imagined, or ever thought might be possible.

How especially lucky am I, that the two men of God, Rev.Stephen Arpee (now in the USA) and Rev.Khalil Razmara (now in Australia), who prepared a ‘twenty-something’ me for Baptism all those years ago in Tehran, are still alive and going strong online. I am able to see and hear them, speak to them, and meet them every few weeks on ZOOM!

I’m sure the Holy Spirit has had a hand in it.

Mar

2022

Cries for a Lost Homeland

Reflections on Jesus’ Sayings From the Cross by Guli Francis-Dehqani

This book by Guli, Bishop of Chelmsford, is an inspiring set of reflections on Christ’s Seven Last Words. Its perspective is quite different from other books on the crucifixion because the context from which Jesus’ final sayings is approached is uniquely personal—namely, Guli’s Persian heritage and her own experiences as a refugee. The references to Persian culture, the fledgling Iranian church, and the drama of her own losses, lends a fresh insight to the interpretation of Jesus’s last words from the cross.

The most generous of Christ’s seven final sayings is surely: Father, forgive them for they do not know what they do. This sublime act of forgiveness is the crux on which Christian doctrine is based. Ultimately it is God’s forgiveness of us that sets the standard for all acts of forgiveness. Guli’s reflection on these words in the light of her own brother’s murder is profoundly poignant, a reminder of the key message that we are to be in the world but not of the world. Unless we Christians learn to forgive the many injustices wrought by men against men, we can end up consumed by anger and regret.

Loss of one’s identity, perceived or otherwise, is a theme that runs throughout this work.

Unlike in the West where faith is a personal matter, in the East religious faith is deeply rooted into one’s cultural identity. Thus, Persian Iranians are assumed to be Shi’a Muslims, while the label “Armenian” is often just another word for “Christian”. When regimes impose or enforce theocratic morality, any apparent non-compliance with the expected behaviour can lead to ostracism or persecution. This is happening not only in Iran but in other countries too, and coupled with civil unrest and economic privations it has resulted in a surge of migrants world-wide. Different looks, different accents, different ways of thinking…all these things conspire to view refugees, asylum seekers and immigrants as outsiders. Even people like Guli and myself who have successfully “integrated” do at times feel different. Though as she wisely adds: “The challenge has been to not get stuck in that place…

Guli’s reflections contain much on which we may, and indeed should, ponder. A challenge for churches is how to meet the real needs of people disadvantaged through circumstances not of their own making. By reflecting openly on her own experience of displacement, loss and renewal, others may be likewise inspired: My hope is that by talking about my stories, you will start thinking about your stories –go tell your story; the world needs it.

I recommend this book as spiritual reading for all Christians in our multi-cultural society. It lends itself especially to study during Lent.

Review by Farifteh Robb

(Featured image courtesy of Local Government Chronicle)

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